Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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