i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
