I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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