It's Friday. Sex?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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