..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
