I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize