Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
