Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
