I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
