I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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