Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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