okay pat passed out under dana's car
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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