I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
