separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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