I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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