WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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