okay pat passed out under dana's car
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
