My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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