im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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