You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
