someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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