Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
