My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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