I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize