Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, beer. Big fan.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
