I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
