11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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