Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
