Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
