Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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