id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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