i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you made out with another girl for some wings
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
