Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
