so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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