Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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