I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
