at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
