Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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