I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
