You made me cry and you don't even care
We're facebook friends in real life
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
