I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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