ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
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Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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