kristin has been a bad kristin
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
