at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize