You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
