I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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