dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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