SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
