Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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