I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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