about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So much Jack, so little girl.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
