i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
