and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Randomize
