Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Randomize
