fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
COCAINE IS GR8
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
