let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
