she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
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pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
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Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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