this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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