Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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