I think I died a long time ago.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
